Sunday, 15 March 2015

The #QuarterLifeCrisis

I'm 23 in just over 6 months. Gulp.
That puts me right on the cusp of my #QuarterLifeCrisis. I've been inspired by Origins catchy new campaign for their Skin Renewal Serum (post on that coming up, it's fab) but I do believe this is a genuine phenomenon and one that must be articulated as I refuse to believe i'm the only girl going through this. 

I've found the last 4 years, since leaving the routine and security of school and family life all a bit of a blur. Some good, some bad, some meltdowns, some achievements. It's kind of like playing grown up for a bit. Legally you're an adult but you don't feel like a real one. Real adults have proper jobs, houses, dogs, disposable income and don't call their Mum's crying when they smash their phone screens or are dying of hangovers. 

Most #QuarterLifeCrisis'ers have survived Uni and unless you are one of the lucky ones to secure a grad scheme place, are probably back at home feeling rudely interrupted that your student days are over wondering what next? All of a sudden, you aren't 18 anymore, even your 21st feels like aaages ago and your best friends aren't even on the same wavelength. Everyone has radically changed. (And we don't like accepting that.) Some are travelling, some have the envied "real job" lined up, some are doing masters, some are having babies. Some are living with parents, some are still partying 6 nights a week, some are buying houses, some are engaged, some are single, and everyone's just comparing themselves to everyone else looking for reassurance that they're getting this life malarky right! 

I for one am certainly not in a position I expected to be in at this time. I thought by now i'd be in a "real" job having spent the last 3 years in Sheffield partying and studying, graduated successfully, with a fabulous promotion ladder ahead of me, decent income, had some brill travelling trips, on my way to buying a house before I was 25. 2 kids and a hubby before I was 30. Job done. Pfffft. That ain't gonna happen anymore! 
So how do we cope with these waves of confusion and overwhelming uncertainty? 

I've learned my lesson to slow down with the planning and expectations. Try really hard to learn and evaluate mistakes, and make the most of every opportunity. "The harder you work, the luckier you get" certainly has a place in the #QuarterLifeCrisis and i've realised as long as you are doing something you enjoy and feel a purpose for, you're getting somewhere! Keep going! There are many paths to the final destination. 

So how to we overcome the #QuarterLifeCrisis? Lets try these 4 steps first:

1) S T O P comparing yourselves to others. We defensively judge each other to provide our egos with reassurance, and you know what? It's just not constructive. I reckon in reality - the grass is not greener. 

2) Just get on with it. What is your dream career? Where do you want to live? Write these down and make some clear steps to help you reach them. Can you do an internship? What are your needs? What are your values? Who can you contact to help you? 

3) Be realistic. Did you really want to buy a house before your 25th or did you just have rose tinted specs on? Do you even know where and with whom you want to live? Focus on one thing at a time. 

4) Remind yourself what's G O O D! Never mind what you haven't managed to tick off, what have you managed? Think of the good stuff! Positivity and confidence are uber attractive, you are never going to achieve your "tick list" full of negative energy and resentment. That is not attractive. So put a smile on even if it's fake for today. Practice makes perfect. (If you aren't ready for that, have one more night sat wallowing with wine and chocolate then remind yourself you are not Bridget Jones and prepare for your fresh mind set tomorrow.) 

These methods are currently under trial, so let me know how you get on fighting the #QuarterLifeCrisis slump. Good luck and hugs. 
B xx 


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